after killing jason off and countless screaming argonauts

the time of year is fast upon us where i will be tempted to leave work early to play golf. especially now that i know i have two months to prepare for my company's golf tournament on June 4. i used to pull that shit in high school and first two years of college all the time, namely skipping out on class to play a round or hit balls. there really is a feeling of accomplishment and "good vibes" for lack of a better term when you can go out on the course and put the ball where you want 80% of the time.

such is the love-hate relationship with golf that i know i share with others. i guess that's one of the few sad things about growing older, is having to make decisions about giving up certain things you like for a number of reasons. i wish i could do all the things i ever loved all the time, but i suppose it's better to be really good at a few things than just ok at a lot of things. golf is one of those activities i'll probably always do but never be really good at like when i was 19. and i can live with that.

fucking shit there is this person in the file cabinet area behind me that is making the kind of noise like shutting file drawers and other shit that is driving me mad and there's nothing i can do about it except leave, right? i mean what choice do i really have i just have to go otherwise there will be hell to pay oh yes there will be actually probably not. if i decided not to leave then i'd just slap the earbuds in and crank up the Nancy Drews' new demo or "birdhouse in your soul" by They Might Be Giants which is probably one of the greatest songs ever written i mean it's just amazing how damn catchy it is. definitely one of the greatest melodies ever written and part of the reason is it doesn't follow your typical I-IV-V chord progression format which in this day and age is quite refreshing sometimes. ok i'm going to leave now.

lead me to the land that you understand

last night's episode of Lost was a pretty good one and i can't believe it but yes they indeed are going to have another new episode next week. sometimes i get annoyed at myself for "having a tv show" but then i think 'what the fuck? who cares?'. i used to be one of those people who consciously did not watch television and then someone would say 'oh have you seen this show?' or 'did you see that commercial?' and it would piss me off to no end and inevitably i'd feel bad for feeling that way. then there are some people who just love to mention that they don't watch tv, they read, as if people who watch the boob tube don't read they just loaf on the couch all day. now while there are some people who do loaf on the couch and watch tv all the time, there are many who will watch the occasional show on television and also find time to read or do other non-tv related activities. and that is ok. we all just need to get along and not feel superior to those who don't do exactly the same things that we do. that is part of what makes life interesting, is that we are not all the same. it'd be pretty boring if we were. i recently saw this photoshopped pic of an ipod where the song title read "i have a better taste in music than anyone else". it's funny because it's true. admittedly there are times when i'll think something like that because it makes me feel good to be superior, it feeds the ego. but then shortly after i'll realise what a mistake it is to feel that way and push those thoughts away. this is why i have to stay busy all the time because i will overanalyse the shit out of everything. including watching television.

"everyone must listen to me filibuster vigilantly"

i'm your only friend i'm not your only friend

there's a new Lost on tonight for the *gasp* second week in a row! heaven forbid there be a third new episode next week. but we here at i am not a monkey will not count our chickens before they're hatched.

as we did with our IRS refund. turns out way back in 2001 and 2002 i forgot to file my tax returns so the Internal Rectal Service is withholding my check until they are filed. which actually will be a good thing because those years are refund years as well. but my Les Paul Gibson Studio will have to wait at least four more months.

we finally have the final bill for the Old Curtis Street Bar and it is (in particular order, from first to last):
Captains of Fuzz
The Nancy Drews
Zeut
if you were at our show at Cricket On the Hill you may remember Zeut, who headlined that show as well. they rock and it is our pleasure to play with them again. as for Captains of Fuzz, i've never heard them but Kosta at the Old Curtis Street Bar said they rock. and of course i need not tell you about the Nancy Drews.

i've had "birdhouse in your soul" stuck in my head for like four days.

it's simple to say "trust me, i will not forget"

the Nancy Drews have completed our first demo. i thought the recording would take a long time but it doesn't even hold a candle to the mixing/mastering process. that shit is tedious. the page to listen to the songs is not finished; the picture is of brahburns giving the thumbs up, which is important because you know that if brahburns is giving approval, it's a damn good thing.

http://desktop.glidesociety.com/user/page.aspx?id=24b05c30-8314-4389-8570-02a88e2d0fbd

http://myspace.com/nancydrewsmusic is also a place you can go to that has some of our music.

so there you have it. i don't know why i continue to get Beefeater's and Tonics at barry's for $2.50 you-call-it sundays. gin is my archnemesis.

when the lights go down, don't go around

last night's Lost was just ok. i suppose it's a testament to the writing and acting that i continue to watch a program that has multiple plot lines left for dead and 10 minutes of commercials for every 5 minutes of show. i mean it's fucking ridiculous! enough with the bombardment of advertisements! answer some damn questions!

but i'll sure as shit watch next week. fuck me.

it might be time to get some new kicks because i dreamt last night that i was shopping for some brown pumas.

the fog outside has not lifted yet and i am glad. the fog makes everything looks so eerie and different. in between my truck and the office door, the leafless trees were silhouetted by the fog and a crow cawed out to the emptiness. it was all very film noir-ish. except there was nobody murdered. but there could have been!

everything's so easy for pauline

i bought new skis yesterday and i'm already getting excited for next season although i'm damn ready for summer and sick of winter. my feet have almost forgotten what it's like to roam free.

that or i'm not as liberal with the flip-flop wearing as i used to be. you know how a lot of guys will wear flip-flops with khakis or something else nice? i started that. back in vegas one could almost wear flip-flops year-round, and so i'd wear flip-flops with all my clothes and pretty much people caught on to how awesome it was and it took off.

that's right, i am a trend-setter. there are other fads i've inadvertantly begun but i won't get into it right now. it's too hard for some people to take, and i don't want anyone getting riled up on a cold ass humpday.

there's a new Lost on tonight and i hate that i keep coming back to those fuckers but it's so damn compelling and riveting i can't help myself. i really don't understand why they do one new show and then three weeks of repeats. it just doesn't make sense to me. and no questions are really answered, they just put older shit on the backburner and raise new issues. but admittedly i will keep watching.

i think thai basil is on the menu tonight.

Fox Confessor Brings the Flood

i'm listening to Neko Case's new album Fox Confessor Brings the Flood for the second time in a row while i enter data and i'm thinking that it will have 5 more listens today, that's how awesome it is.

for those unfamiliar with Neko Case, she's a pac-northwesterner with one of the best voices ever. and i've also been in love with her for two years.

basically i have ginormous crushes on neko case and natalie portman. last year at her show at the bluebird i was going to ask her out for a drink but i barely stammer out how great i thought she was and pretty much i just gushed and turned red.

so anyway this new album is just spectacular, a marvelous listen. and if you're not into the whole "alt-country" thing she's awesome on all three New Pornographers releases (Mass Romantic, Electric Version, & Twin Cinema). oh man. it's just that i'm still listening to "fox" and with each listen it reveals more and more layers.

damn. Hold On, Hold On and The Needle Has Landed are absolutely beautiful. then again, so are Star Witness and Lion's Jaws and That Teenage Feeling. ok i'm going to stop now because pretty much all the songs kick ass.

stare into the lion's eyes and if you taste the candy

the next official Nancy Drews show is april 29 (arbor day), but casey and i will be flexing our acoustic muscles (look out for the guns) at kokopelli's this sunday during their open mic. if anyone wants to come down, there's no cover and it really is a sweet bar.

the april 29th gig is at the old curtis street bar at 2100 curtis st. there will be three acts with the Nancy Drews headlining, as it were. cost will be approx. $5 and of course we will be rocking the joint in true Nancy Drews form, with an almost entirely new setlist (yes we will still play 'ocean man').

saturday april 29th may seem like a long time, but it'll sneak up on you faster than something that sneaks up really fast on people.

big news and big losers

so this was the weekend where i was to come away with many stories of drunken shenanigans and debauchery. i don't really have any. i mean zigler and i did get pretty wasted a few times but there's nothing really to report. zigler snuck a beer out of sobo 151 and i sang karaoke - twice - one song which was the "summer nights" duet from "grease". yes, i love "grease" and that is how i roll. but other than that, we watched our alma mater lose in the MWC tourney, went skiing at Copper on saturday, and that's about it.

and now for the big news: WEEN is playing at Red Rocks Amphitheatre the day after my b-day -- JULY 29!!!!! actually i'm not as stoked as them playing at the boulder or fox theatres, partly because i'm not too huge on Red Rocks, and because the Flaming Lips are playing with them this time, but it is still Bad Ass! Celebrate Good Times Go Ween. kath you absolutely must see this show. the live Ween experience will indeed melt your mind, even without drugs.

oh yes, it's Bracket Time people! fill out your brackets and enjoy the NCAAs. go Zags, go Huskies.

so don't you be late

one of my fellow UNLV alums is flying into denver tomorrow from las vegas for the Mountain West Conference Championship, held for the last time at Pepsi Center. when we were in college it took place at the Thomas & Mack on campus, but the MWC brainiacs thought UNLV had too much of a home-court advantage because they either won it or made it to the finals every year. turns out UNLV just steps it up during tourney time because they've done that the last three years the tournament has been held in denver. it also turns out that (surprise!) more people show up for the MWC Championship when it's held in las vegas! big shocker! so this is the final year the tournament will be held in denver and i'm ok with that because that means i get to go to vegas next year. yeah it's sweet that the tournament is held here and i can drive 5 minutes to the Can and see my runnin rebels play some uninspired tarkanianless b-ball, but a trip to vegas somehow makes it more special.



if i had my druthers:

- denver would have las vegas's october weather year-round
- the light-rail would be finished like yesterday
- thai basil...well i don't know, i just wanted to say i love thai basil
- i'd ride my bike to work everday (which depends on the weather thing above)
- it'd be easier to join a softball league. seriously i can't find one anywhere.
- there'd be a garlic knot in denver (city of)
- my neighborhood would have permit parking due to the popularity of ogden st. south on weekends
- barry's would not be sausage fest all the time
- the shamrock would still be in business. not that i don't like the rover, i just miss the shamrock.

george clooney is an arrogant horse's ass

yes i watched them. i wasn't planning on it, but matt & sue were making dinner and i did not want to miss out on homemade crab-cheese wontons and sesame chicken. and believe you me, it was delicious.

so because i wanted to eat this awesome dinner i had to watch the academy awards and while there were many moments that made me physically ill (see "oscar pre-show" or whatever they call that drivel) i must say that jon stewart was funny. while i'm afraid jon stewart is on his way to become the next bill maher, he still puts out good material and last night is proof of that.

but george clooney came with the smugness to end all smugness. i want to kick my own ass for even having an emotional response to anything about hollywood patting itself on the back, but he was too much!

you want a "star" who's in check and has his shit together? see dave chappelle. i think he's the only sane person in hollywood. i'd set you up with the youtube link but i can't because it's blocked at work, so just go to youtube.com and search for "dave chappelle" and check out his interview with james lipton on "inside the actor's studio".

touch my tooter, smoocher!

yet another reason WEEN is the greatest rock n roll band on earth

please would you like to be somewhere floating free

one part of my dream that stands out from last night is the heat. i was walking along somewhere and the heat was almost unbearable; i was sweating and thirsting from the unrelenting heat. and at that point i woke up and realised i'd left my space heater on when i fell asleep and now my room was sweltering. so i turned it off and opened my door to let the heat out and fell back asleep into dreamland.

it was at this point that i began dreaming of my family's place in the mountains, which i don't think really exists. i'm not even quite sure what mountain range this mythical "place in the mountains" is, but it's probably the cascades. anyway, me and a bunch of other family members, which happens to include michael j. fox, go up there because mike has just inherited the place. thing is you can only get there by "land or air", although it's too high up to be dropped from a plane or helicopter so basically you have to hike there. i don't know how, but there is electricity and running water. the electricity comes from these power lines that obstruct some of the view from the house. we are all sitting in front of the cabin which sits right in front of a huge, downward-sloping meadow and basically opens up to a view of these magnificent snow-crested mountains. it's probably spring-time because the grass of the meadow is green and there are wildflowers in bloom. and everyone is chillin like villains outside.

for some reason i throw a rope around the power line and start swinging like a madman, and i mean i am going waaaay out there and into the air because the meadow goes down so quickly and abruptly so if i were to slip i'd fall a long, long way to my death. but i'm not even afraid of slipping, i'm just swinging like a madman and having a blast and mike (j. fox) is exploring the place and my great-grandmother (whom i've never met in real-life) is on the meadow with everyone else. and when i'm swinging, i'm really swinging! and it feels tremendous to have that kind of confidence and to be on the meadow with the family one second and the next second they're looking like ants because of how high i'm swinging on this rope attached to power lines.

when i tire of the rope swing it suddenly occurs to me that i'm not being electrocuted when i'm on the ground holding the rope and i can't remember if that's because the rope is not a conductor or if the power lines are shut off because i should be electrocuted because i'm grounding the power line. soon it doesn't matter though because someone has climbed the pole and tightroped over to where the rope is tied and he cuts it with a knife. so no more rope swing.

it's at this point i go inside with michael j. fox and we're raiding the fridge but all we can find is almond roca and sliced ham. that's about all i remember.

looking up to the sky

holy shit, man! last night the nancy drews drank booze and rocked the house. it kind of pains me to say it, and it's kind of wrong in a good way, but playing music with a buzz is really, really, really, ridiculously fun.

that was basically our mardi gras celebration and no, i don't believe any of us gave up anything for lent. i was going to give up being awesome, but then who would you all look up to for a role model of awesomeness? so fear not, i gave up nothing.

i am eating a pbj, apple (fuji, gala, or golden delicious), and banana for lunch these days. i've given up drinking diet wild cherry pepsi because i need to drink more water, so i'm forcing myself to do so. i miss it, i'll admit it. i'm just not the same without it. hell, I need it. i miss it's scent...i miss it's musk. i was thinking maybe we could get an apartment together.